Tuesday, August 21, 2012


      The Fruit Fly gathering is later than usual this year.  The kitchen downstairs appears to be a paradise for them.  They like coffee in the morning, thrive upon cleaning products, become excited around refrigerator doors, they thrill at the prospect of spending time inside a freeze box or microwave oven. Nor are they in the least alarmed by any maniacal with murderous intent swatting activities directed against them.  But more astonishing is that a of all creatures in the world, a variety of very small male Fruit Fly called Drosophila Bifurca has the largest sperm. About nine thousand times larger than gametes that provide the haploid generation in the males of my own species.

      I have no intention of ever knowing exactly what variety of Fruit Fly it is that have chosen to call the room where I sleep home.  And I am certainly not going to completely lose touch with reality by starting to wonder about what it is the upstairs branch of their community finds to eat.  I would prefer to think these five little creatures, obsessed by a computer screen, are driven by curiosity and a deep yearning to improve themselves, because the cruelest thing about Fruit Flies is their practice of traumatic insemination.  A male pierces a female's body in order to  inject his sperm through what becomes a wound in her abdomen.  It's a wound that leaves her susceptible to infection, premature death and sadness.   I am told Robber Flies and some Wasps, prey upon Fruit Flies, but, however tempting it might be, I am not yet so deranged as to open a window onto that spectacle, or call forth a far too obvious political digression.


Gin said...

Find thyself a bowl and into it pour a half-inch of cider vinegar. Place said bowl in an open area of the room, perhaps on a table or dresser. (It is advisable that this be some distance from the computer so flapping hands may not upset the bowl and toss the contents onto the keyboard.) Do tell me tomorrow how many ganates chose to take a swim.

tim candler said...

Cider vinegar is on the list for the grocery store - have tried both Balsamic and mushroom with sage vinegar - as well as a glass or two of The Artist's blackberry (or wild raspberry wine, depending on political perspectives) without a great deal of success. They gather get excited, run around, jump up and down, that sort of thing. I did spot one heading into a cup of coffee, which I thought promising, but once there he was impossible to dispose of without taking the extreme measure of tossing the entire cup of coffee into the perennial border. I long to see their corpses ready for composting and eternity.