Sunday, February 28, 2016


The blast of mail order catalogues and promotional emails is upon us. They come in like Lions, roaring and spitting guilt, accusing us of failure to grasp the fundamental importance of renewing our commitment to something like an ergonomic trake, advising us of the importance of matching our kneepads to our secateur holsters, there's a whole thing about Bat Guano and Diatomacceous Earth which actually is the fossilized corpses of Diatoms, so it's all natural even if it is a little mean spirited. Then there's a bunch of Vegetable Garden friendly footwear made from recycled water bottles, and a wonderful collection of very glamorous sunhats sure to raise the odd eyebrow.

A gardener can't help but get sucked in. He sees the potential of The Mason Bee House, he can get very enthusiastic indeed around a Compost Pile Thermometer, his soul soars a little at the idea of a Little Burro Wheelbarrow Organizer and a Windmill Mole Chaser which uses the natural power of the wind to create an underground vibration that Moles just can't handle. Have to think that a combination of a wheelbarrow organizer, secateur holsters, an ergonomic trake, a couple of fossilized Diatoms and a thermometer anywhere near the Compost Pile would probably put sufficient uneasiness in the subterranean community a Windmill Mole Chase might be a completely unnecessary expense.

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