Thursday, June 16, 2016

Day Fifteen

Day 15 of avoiding the newspapers, which was yesterday, I fell of the wagon. It was very hot outside, humidity high, a swamp-like feel, and I'd chosen to sojourn rather than risk heart failure when I spotted familiar bookmarks. In short it was a terrible error. In the USA fifty or forty nine people had been shot dead in a nightclub. The Brits are veering toward leaving their union with Europe. There's a strong chance the Second Clinton will become the President of the Western World. The other bloke is probably going to spontaneously combust well before November. As an old fart I'm obliged to see no silver lining in any of this, and as an old fart I am sorely tempted to re-read the Book of Revelations, don the sack cloth and proceed to get out of the kitchen by throwing myself off the Green River Dam. But I won't because that's far too sensible a solution in this time of shifting sands in the yet to be observed alignment of Mars and Mercury, not to mention the disappearance of the Milky Way in the sky above much of the planet and the extinction of the Bramble Cay Melomy.

Much better to enter the fray. I'm going to open my mind to new horizons as I wait for The Rapture. Obviously fifty people were killed by a bad person with a gun because good people with a guns aren't Night Owls, they don't loiter around having a cocktail at two o'clock on a Sunday morning. Obviously the United Kingdom is an Island and the Channel Tunnel should rightly be flooded, it has no business in Europe, it's more traditional role in the world is to occasionally attempt to invade Europe or a Falkland Island and football hooligans don't count because they aren't authorized by the English Crown to possess battle tanks, jet planes, cruise missiles or to hold physical territory. And very obviously in the USA it's definitely time to do away with stupid things like elections and just set up an inheritance system whereby Presidents are born not elected, we could call them Kings or Pontiffs and they could do things like give people knighthoods, make them peers of the realm, and a whole thing with funny costumes, crowns, horse drawn carriages, $30,00 Armani jackets and silly hats. The Chinese Tourists would love it. That seems to have fixed any confusion I might have had.

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