Saturday, November 12, 2016

Cold Weather Work

Temperatures soaring into the lower fifties Fahrenheit. This would be exciting if it were the end of February, but for those of us recovering from hunting down socks after the summer respite there's no great joy to be had from any temperature below around sixty five Fahrenheit. Yes indeed, a deeply emotional moment for those of us who have spent a great many years formulating a Winter Hibernation Principle for us people, it's never been well received, the prevailing theory being that without thoroughly inclement conditions for four or five months each year we'd be not much better than Grasshoppers or Tomato Plants, and with something like hibernation, shopping days would be pretty much halved, guaranteeing the end of a civilization where wallowing is up there with those heavy duty sins human management studies devote billions of pages to.....

More recently your correspondent has looked at outdoor Winter Projects as a more constructive solution to the abject misery of dealing with the colder months. Easy enough when sockless and unfettered by layers of clothing to think in terms of just being brave around something like planting posts when the Earth declares a Shivering Naraka, but what happens to those of us who might actually lack the moral fortitude necessary to potter about with outdoor hand tools in a nose dribbling, toothache breeze. Fortunately this year there's a perfect motivator to be found in the total, complete and utter failure of the Political Elites to understand the Electorate. I have found the woolly hat, the vest and the romper wear, and I'm off to plant a post. Like Oats, I might be gone for sometime.....

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