Friday, January 5, 2018

Current Events

Were I a disgustingly wealthy person I'd have a special, windowless, padded room devoted entirely to Emotional Days Off. It would be well stocked with things like fruit cake, mash Potato and gravy, cans of sweetened condensed milk, there'd be hot and cold running water, a tooth brush, toilet facilities, an ennui recliner and shelves lined with books. But as a wishy-washy liberal such a space can only be imagined and so the options available to the set of emotions that sometimes just needs a good long break from current events is to issue a fatwa. Two days later a person wakes up cheerful, refreshed and then does something ridiculous, he decides to check the internet weather forecast for signs of hope.

One thing leads to another and the next thing you know he's reading about someone bursting into to tears of anguish when she discovers that her husband won a presidential election. A sensible well balanced and properly refreshed person, despite being eager for more, quickly dismisses this as an obvious case of Fake News, and does the new age equivalent of turning the page. "Iguanas are falling out of trees in Florida because it's so cold. Please don't pick them up." "Moore's 'Jewish Attorney' is a practicing Christian." "Eric Trump claims Ellen DeGeneres is running a Shadow Government." In the old days of course you could find emotional release by taking the newspaper outside and jumping up and down on it.

1 comment:

Gin said...

Yes, nowadays it's really hard to wrap a fish in a webpage.